Not a Gender Binary
Not a Gender Binary
[Image] A person standing between two doors, one with a “Men’s” bathroom symbol, and one with a “Women’s” symbol.
[Caption] I live in fear every day. Something as simple as going to a public bathroom scares me.
[Image] *The next three panels are in a thought bubble
The person with his hand on the Men’s Bathroom door.
[Image] The person entering the bathroom. Behind him, two men, with shocked expressions, looking at him, with a question mark and exclamation point floating between them.
[Image] Inside the men’s bathroom, the person looking sad, and positioned as if leaving. Two men in the bathroom, one taking paper towels from a dispenser, and one at the sink, are looking at the person leaving.
Man at the sink: #%^!
[Image] Having foreseen the past three panels in the thought bubble, the person reaches out to open the women’s bathroom door.
[Image] The person, standing against a dark background, facing away from the reader.
[Caption] Trans people are more likely to be murdered than any other group, especially trans people of color. It’s draining knowing that so many people think it’s ok to be violent towards me. Even if it’s not physically dangerous, transphobic bullshit is everywhere. I can’t even open up to most of my family that I’m trans.
[Image] The person facing a woman with long hair, and smiling.
[Caption] So when I finally tell someone that I’m trans, it takes a lot of trust.
[Image] The woman, looking concerned.
[Caption] But that trust is broken immediately, all too often.
Woman: Wow, ok, when are you transitioning?
[Caption] When was the last time you asked someone else about their genitals? My genitals are my own business. Not all trans people transition. Why can’t I just live my life as me? Why can’t I wear what clothes I want? Why must I conform to the gender binary in one form
I’m a 23 year old unaltered trans-man. I’ve been out to a select group of people since I was 21. I don’t tell everyone that I’m trans*, because I am scared.
I’ve internalized trans-phobia so much that something as simple as going to the bathroom is emotionally draining. I either choose to actively live as my true self (and use the men’s bathroom), or deny who I am for fear of what would happen to me in the bathroom. It makes me cry sometimes.
I’m so scared of being murdered. Trans* people are much more likely to be murdered than any other group, especially trans* people of color (I’m half Latino). Trans* people are also more likely to commit suicide. I don’t plan on doing myself in though. I’ve gone far past that.
I’m so scared that I can’t even bring myself to come out to my dad. I also can’t come out to some people in my dad’s family, not because I think they wouldn’t accept me, but because I fear them accidentally letting it spill to my dad. I’m afraid of how disappointed he would be, and I just don’t want to let him down.
Dating is a nightmare too.
I am just tired of all the transphobic bullshit that keeps me from living as my authentic self.
So when I finally decide to tell someone, it takes trust. But people immediately break that trust by asking about my genitals.
The main question I get is “When are you transitioning?”
My genitals are my business. That question makes me feel like my body isn’t really my business anymore, which is really hurtful. What I do with my body shouldn’t be anyone’s concern but mine. When I do tell them that I don’t plan on transitioning, I am either met with confusion, or I’m told that I’m not really trans*… and that I should go fucking kill myself for being a jerk.
I don’t plan on transitioning. NOT ALL TRANS PEOPLE TRANSITION!! I refuse to subscribe to the ideals of a gender binary.
This confuses and angers people, when all they should really be concerned about is whether or not I am living my life the way I want. While I have not yet fully recognized my ideal for the life I want, I’ve made significant strides. Is it so hard to understand that I like my life as a person who openly defies gender norms? Why can’t I just live my life as me? Why can’t I wear what clothes I want? Why must I conform to the gender binary in one form of another?