Standing So Tall That I Feel Small

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Standing So Tall That I Feel Small

Panel 1

[Image] Three girls, all in gym school outfits. Two are holding basketballs. One girl, with long blonde hair, is taller than the other two.

[Caption] Growing up, I was always taller than other girls.

Panel 2

[Image] The blonde girl sitting on a bed in a doctor’s office. A doctor is holding a stethoscope to the girl’s chest. The girl looks unhappy.

[Caption] My height was so unusual that I had regular visits to the doctor, who would check my thyroid and pituitary glands.

Panel 3

[Image] A man wearing a suit and tie, with hand raised, index finger extended. He is looking down at the blonde girl, who is facing him.

[Caption] Because of my height, I was treated differently than most girls. Adults treated me as older, with more expectations.

Panel 4

[Image] Three children, a mix of male and female, facing the reader.

[Caption] Kids relentlessly picked on me.

Child 1: Hey Everest!
Child 2: Humongo, there’s something wrong with you!
Child 3: You’re a giant fatty.

Panel 5

[Image] The blonde girl lying sideways on a bed, crying and tightly holding a teddy bear.

[Caption] I started believing everyone around me. Girls weren’t meant to be tall, but I was huge. I hated life, school, and most of all, myself.

Panel 6

[Image] The girl, now grown up, in a clothing store. She is holding a pair of pants which are clearly too short. She has a concerned expression on her face.

[Caption] As an adult, I still have issues with clothes that don’t fit.

Panel 7

[Image] The woman hugging a man who is shorter than her. Both are smiling, but the man looks unsure.

[Caption] When you’re taller than most men, dating is extra hard.

Panel 8

[Image] The woman, smiling and looking down at another woman with dark hair, who is facing her.

[Caption] Everywhere I go, everyone says…

Dark Haired Woman: I’m so jealous! I wish I could be that tall!

[Caption] I like to say I am proud of who I am, and it’s true mentally. But physically I can’t stand to look at myself.

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Growing up I was always taller than everyone my age. My height was so unusual, that I had regular visits to see doctors who would test my thyroid and pituitary glands to see if they were working properly. Because of this I was treated differently than most girls. Adults treated me as older, and I was expected to act older and more mature at a younger age. To my peers, I was the giant.

At one point my peers started calling me fat, even though I wasn’t. Giant, fatty, humongo, Everest, the tower…it was relentless. At six years old I hated life, I hated going to school, and I hated myself. Worst of all, as a child I began to believe them. I was an active child who didn’t overeat, but I slowly fell into conformity with what people expected of me. Of course, this made things difficult leading into adulthood.

My chiropractor growls at me for my “tall person slouch” as he calls it, which is really just me trying to lower how tall I am by slouching. When it comes to clothing, being plus sized makes it hard enough, but being tall makes it extremely difficult to buy pants. And even though I love heels, I cannot wear them. In our media driven world, ideally the man is taller than the woman – that ideology makes it impossible to date when you’re taller than most guys. Heels make it even worse.

I like to say I am proud of who I am, and yes that is a truth mentally, but physically I can’t stand to look at myself. Ironically the physical feature I get the most positive reaction to is my height. It is very annoying when everywhere I go everyone says, “Wow you are so tall!” “How tall are you?” and “so jealous I wish I could be that tall!”

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7 responses to “Standing So Tall That I Feel Small”

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  1. L says: |
    August 4, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    I’m so sorry. People can be so cruel, especially to those who are different. I hope you manage to find someone special that will appreciate who you are as a person.

  2. G says: |
    August 18, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    I know how you feel. I am probably not as tall as you, but tall enough. In school, the kids always called me “giraffe”. I too like heels, and even bought some, and now..I don`t were them, because I feel so uncomfortable with it, being the tallest person in every bar with them on. Other women always say to me “Who cares, you are hot with this shoes and even hotter because you are so tall” but I just don`t feel right when I wear them. So they just are decoration in my home. But otherwise, I am happy being so tall: Reaching every shelf in the kitchen without help. Also, I have the feeling man treat a tall woman differently than a very small, cute looking one. (Which is bad, it shouldn`t be this way, every woman should be treaten with respect).

  3. a c says: |
    August 19, 2014 at 10:05 am

    6’5″ me. All of the remote hugggs (if wanted). And I’d also like to say that I wear heels sometimes – I hate the stares, but I get them anyway, so sometimes it’s fun to just rock it and see what happens. (I sound so fearless here; trust me, I’m not like that most of the time :P).

  4. Nia says: |
    October 28, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    Yeah…this one struck a chord with me. 5’9 (unless, according to my weight training teacher, I really am 5’10 this year) in Miami doesn’t work well. Many of my friends are short, cute girls. I feel so large, so colossal, next to them. I don’t know if I count as plus-sized. I’m kinda chubby and have thick bones. I’m in weight training (for the second year in a row), so that doesn’t help me feel any more feminine on most days.

    But, you know, I’ve tried to get over my height/size issues. My current boyfriend is a couple inches shorter than me, and, on top of that, he’s skinny and kinda small-framed. I love him, though. It was odd in the beginning (for me, I guess, since he never really seemed bothered), but I’ve grown used to it. I still don’t wear heels or anything around him, but I try not to slouch. I have to believe that he likes me for me — not in spite of my height/size/etc., but partially, maybe, even because of them. And there will be all kinds of people out there, but there will always be at least a few who will love you no matter what.

  5. S says: |
    October 31, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    This is so much me. And everyone says I should be glad that I’m tall, yet it’s so hard to find men who are okay with my size, it’s hard to find clothes that fit right, and I have literately been told “Well, you’re just as cute as her, if you were shorter you’d have guys who like you.” I can’t be pretty enough, it’s wrong for me to wear heels because “Think of girls shorter than you” I had to stop trick or treating before a lot of other kids because I looked 16 because I was tall, and so many other things. No, I’m not happy to be tall, I’d be better off a foot shorter.

  6. ... says: |
    December 12, 2014 at 3:50 am

    From the age of 9, I started to grow very quickly. In the 5th grade, I was 5’4, weighed 120, size 7 women’s feet. In 7th grade, I was 5’7, weighed 140, size 9 feet. In 9th grade, I was 5’11, 160, size 10 feet. In 12th grade, I was 6’5, 220, size 16 feet. I’m still growing at the age of 20 with a weird condition. As a women, I currently am 6’9, 250, size 18 feet (16 men’s)

  7. KP says: |
    December 16, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    For most of my life, I was very uncomfortable in my own skin because of my height and proportions. I’m much taller than the average American woman and this has always made me stand out. Over time and through the grace of God, I have learned how to embrace my unique, statuesque frame as beautiful and feel that it is part of my purpose to help other young ladies to realize that they are indeed beautiful, loved, and accepted just as they are.

    I started my blog “Heart to Fit” (available at: about a year ago. The title “Heart To Fit” is a play on the phrase “hard to fit”. Though I may have to work a bit harder to find clothes that fit and flatter me nicely, I refuse to be ashamed of my shape.

    Live well and be good to yourself.

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