Standing So Tall That I Feel Small
Standing So Tall That I Feel Small
[Image] Three girls, all in gym school outfits. Two are holding basketballs. One girl, with long blonde hair, is taller than the other two.
[Caption] Growing up, I was always taller than other girls.
[Image] The blonde girl sitting on a bed in a doctor’s office. A doctor is holding a stethoscope to the girl’s chest. The girl looks unhappy.
[Caption] My height was so unusual that I had regular visits to the doctor, who would check my thyroid and pituitary glands.
[Image] A man wearing a suit and tie, with hand raised, index finger extended. He is looking down at the blonde girl, who is facing him.
[Caption] Because of my height, I was treated differently than most girls. Adults treated me as older, with more expectations.
[Image] Three children, a mix of male and female, facing the reader.
[Caption] Kids relentlessly picked on me.
Child 1: Hey Everest!
Child 2: Humongo, there’s something wrong with you!
Child 3: You’re a giant fatty.
[Image] The blonde girl lying sideways on a bed, crying and tightly holding a teddy bear.
[Caption] I started believing everyone around me. Girls weren’t meant to be tall, but I was huge. I hated life, school, and most of all, myself.
[Image] The girl, now grown up, in a clothing store. She is holding a pair of pants which are clearly too short. She has a concerned expression on her face.
[Caption] As an adult, I still have issues with clothes that don’t fit.
[Image] The woman hugging a man who is shorter than her. Both are smiling, but the man looks unsure.
[Caption] When you’re taller than most men, dating is extra hard.
[Image] The woman, smiling and looking down at another woman with dark hair, who is facing her.
[Caption] Everywhere I go, everyone says…
Dark Haired Woman: I’m so jealous! I wish I could be that tall!
[Caption] I like to say I am proud of who I am, and it’s true mentally. But physically I can’t stand to look at myself.
Growing up I was always taller than everyone my age. My height was so unusual, that I had regular visits to see doctors who would test my thyroid and pituitary glands to see if they were working properly. Because of this I was treated differently than most girls. Adults treated me as older, and I was expected to act older and more mature at a younger age. To my peers, I was the giant.
At one point my peers started calling me fat, even though I wasn’t. Giant, fatty, humongo, Everest, the tower…it was relentless. At six years old I hated life, I hated going to school, and I hated myself. Worst of all, as a child I began to believe them. I was an active child who didn’t overeat, but I slowly fell into conformity with what people expected of me. Of course, this made things difficult leading into adulthood.
My chiropractor growls at me for my “tall person slouch” as he calls it, which is really just me trying to lower how tall I am by slouching. When it comes to clothing, being plus sized makes it hard enough, but being tall makes it extremely difficult to buy pants. And even though I love heels, I cannot wear them. In our media driven world, ideally the man is taller than the woman – that ideology makes it impossible to date when you’re taller than most guys. Heels make it even worse.
I like to say I am proud of who I am, and yes that is a truth mentally, but physically I can’t stand to look at myself. Ironically the physical feature I get the most positive reaction to is my height. It is very annoying when everywhere I go everyone says, “Wow you are so tall!” “How tall are you?” and “so jealous I wish I could be that tall!”